Rippers Resurrected: Collateral Evil

Patrick's ventures: Part 3

Hit and run!

I don’t get confused. If someone point me the enemy, I go and deal with it.

So the situation was this: random people were shot by another people. We took the underdogs’ side.

Sneaking is slow and everything happened bloody fast. The priest summoned an angelic warrior, the German turned invisible and shot some bad darkness shite, lodge master went full berserk, mr. Fancy Pants blasted heads with his rifle, the negro played with the mad man’s explosives… the time I got close a bad guy, the tosser was the only one alive—before he got smashed to my fist.

That’s what I do. I hit things. Hard.

Next we heard long and loud howling and a bloody huge manwolfs emerged. One of the good guys we saved shout something in gibberish. I tried to ask several times what the fuck, until someone nicely told me that those werewolf could only be killed with silver. I don’t have silver on my fist – yet – so I grabbed a knife of sort from the bodies.

Now I had a weapon and I charged the nearest beast. Werewolf or not—it dropped after the first blow. Maybe silver had something to do with that—or I just hit it fucking hard.

The next beast was a little further so I plunged myself at it. Again, I hit hard. The fucker expired immediately. And they claim that werewolfs are mean fuckers. Bollocks! I have fought meaner negros than those puppies. At least I got some nice trophies.

We ventured forth to castle Poenari but night and darkness caught us and we had to make camp. I took the first watch with the priest. All went well until I saw the devil. I know that I have a fucking limited general knowledge but I know the buggering devil’s carriage when I see one. This was a fight we couldn’t fucking win. We quickly woke the others, camouflaged our carriage and went full stealth in the woods.

Luckily the devil, Dracula, was leaving his castle. A window of a fucking opportunity! We sneaked close the castle Poenari and made a hastily plan: myself, the negro and a random good guy would climb and sneak in to the castle, save damsel in distress and sneak back. Others would draw the attention of the guards with a forest fire on the other side.

Then mr. Fancy Pants the Wanker fell asleep.

Our strike team scaled the wall, sneak through the castle yard and into the dungeon quite easily. There were only a few knobbers on our way—nothing we couldn’t handle. The damsel was a spice one. She thought we were the bad guys and gave me quite a good kick in the head. I think I have never been hit so hard by a fucking lady! I didn’t get any injuries or so but I was really impressed. I think I’m a bit in love!

The forest fire spread fast and gave us a nice cover. We got away nice and smoothy. This was a fucking triumph!


Havu Petri

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